Sometimes isolation or boredom manifests in the formation of unwanted habits, like those reported by men concerned about porn addiction. The triple change of new job, new home and new relationship status presents opportunities but can also contribute to loneliness and isolation when there is no realistic forward plan. Both have experienced difficulties in meeting new partners, either because of the prohibitions against intimacy between unmarried couples or the laws against homosexuality ( gay men’s depression can be significant in countries where homosexuality is illegal). For example, I have worked with both straight and gay men who have started working in conservative Arab cultures following the the break-down of an intimate relationship or while trying to recover from separation. Sometimes the circumstances under which a person commences expat life may compound, rather than ease, the move to a different country. Online counselling is different to ‘face-to-face’ sessions but comes with particular benefits. Others have moved to take jobs in global financial hubs like Hong Kong, Shanghai or Taipei or cities such as Abu Dhabi, Doha or Riyadh in the oil rich Middle-East countries. Some have been living in mining towns in remote parts of Australia, like Kalgoorlie or Roxby Downs. Over the past 7 years, I’ve worked with many clients isolated by geographical distance and culture. When what promised to be adventure sours, how can you recover a sense of satisfaction or happiness? While the expat experience is more often portrayed as glamorous and exciting, many find the reality of living in a different culture to be lonely and challenging, particularly in the first year or so. Counselling expats, I’m privileged to be invited to hear stories from the private lives of those who trade comfort and familiarity for the unknown.
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